So here's the deal.

That guy you bought the latte from this morning on your way to work? Yeah, turns out he wasn't human. I know, you're surprised. It's okay. That's normal. In fact, chances are the majority of people sitting around you right now aren't human, either. You're probably in danger. You might want to do something about that. Go ahead, get yourself someplace safe. No, I'll wait.

Are you there? Great. Now listen up, cause there's only time to say this once. YOU ARE BEING LIED TO. THEY are everywhere. They're your mailman and your accountant. They're the girl who works the register down at the grocery store. They're your boss and your friends and your parents. They're everyone, and they're EVERYWHERE.

Pretty scary, huh?

But don't worry. You know about them now. You have a chance. You can survive. But you'll have to be quick.

Now, tell me: do you have any salt?