So here's the deal.

That guy you bought the latte from this morning on your way to work? Yeah, turns out he wasn't human. I know, you're surprised. It's okay. That's normal. In fact, chances are the majority of people sitting around you right now aren't human, either. You're probably in danger. You might want to do something about that. Go ahead, get yourself someplace safe. No, I'll wait.

Are you there? Great. Now listen up, cause there's only time to say this once. YOU ARE BEING LIED TO. THEY are everywhere. They're your mailman and your accountant. They're the girl who works the register down at the grocery store. They're your boss and your friends and your parents. They're everyone, and they're EVERYWHERE.

Pretty scary, huh?

But don't worry. You know about them now. You have a chance. You can survive. But you'll have to be quick.

Now, tell me: do you have any salt?

Virgil Ray and Martha Mae Pickers are basically good people. Still, like most basically good people, they’re subject to the siren calls of fame, fortune and — not least — impressing their neighbors.

In this laugh-out-loud novel of linked stories reminiscent of the unforgettable characters and sense of place portrayed in stories by Fannie Flagg and Garrison Keillor, the Pickers and their Oakley County neighbors find themselves in outlandish predicaments, however well-intentioned. A faked resurrection, a return to high school at age 60, a visit by Elvis, helping the US Treasury bust a moonshiner, plus a hijinks-riddled cross-denominational Thanksgiving church service — through it all, Virgil Ray, Martha Mae and their hound dog Buddy have each other. Heaven help them!

Armed with snacks and voted 'Most Likely to Succeed' by his fly-by-night private investigator school, Reverend Richard Burgess has left the pulpit behind to try his hand at helping people in a different way. After shedding his pastor duds for a newly acquired closetful of somewhat questionable disguises, Detective Burgess sets out to leverage his considerable people smarts to solve crimes and bring closure to his clients.

In this hilarious novel of linked short stories, the former minister busts a smuggling ring, solves a murder, launches a viral video on YouTube, tracks down a ghost, and after exposing a deadly real estate scam, finds CNN in his front yard. After church is over, staying out of trouble might just be Richard’s new full-time job.

Newly single mother, Nikki Estrella Jones, desperate to free herself from under her ex-husband’s cowboy grip and his straw-chewing bow lips, follows a washed-up has-been into a questionable home-based business venture after the final blow of getting canned from yet another job. But this new adventure has her doing things even her job would never have asked…

A lighthearted, humorous tale of a newly single mom and her struggles to overcome herself and become independent. And maybe even find a little love in the process...maybe...

Ten percent of all proceeds go to helping children and families in need.

"A virgin birth? A virgin? Her?" God shouted at Freud while recalling his one night stand with Mary. Freud snorted another line of cocaine in celebration, believing that this story would help Nietzsche in his quest to fire God from Heaven Inc. Nietzsche, however, has other problems: the Norse gods are running amok on Earth, his board of directors are in a constant state of chaos, and syphilis pushes him into a past life that he would rather forget. How will he prevail?

Operation Cosmic Teapot takes you on a wild, hilarious ride that explores the relationship between people and gods. Thought-provoking and humorous, the Teapot is sure to leave you wanting more.

We live our entire lives thinking we know those closest to us. But do we ever really?

On the outside, Annabel O'Conner has it all - the perfect husband, two adorable children, an amazing job, and a mother from hell! Just when she gives up trying to regain her overbearing mother's love, an unexpected call turns her world around and makes Annabel question everything she believes about her life.

Could falling in love give a cold, stubborn, and selfish woman a second chance to open her heart back up to her family?

Beatrice Buchanan has spent more years than she can remember distancing herself from everyone close to her. She barely has a relationship with her grandchildren. The only time she manages to have a one way conversation with her daughter is during her weekly fifteen-minute commute to the nail salon. When Bea meets Walter on a cruise she realizes there may be more to life than designer clothes, killer handbags, and impressing the ladies at her posh country club.

As the mother and daughter duo team up to plan "Long Island's wedding of the year" they confront the secrets and lies that have defined them. This humorous emotionally honest women's contemporary fiction novel will tug at your heartstrings and the twist ending will shock you.

"Although a light read, the subject matter was very sad at times and I found myself choking back tears, but in a good way! It was so authentically heart wrenching yet often very funny too. The characters were so well fleshed out and three dimensional - no one was perfect and no one was fatally flawed - like real life. I thought the twist was genius!" - Meredith Schorr Best Selling Author

Something Strange is Happening in Bufkin County
Hitch saw his dog Salem’s golden frame collapsed and quivering on the ground, and he knew something was wrong. She’d been fine the day before, swimming in the creek just as careless as a dog swimming in a creek should be, but Salem was now moaning, fussing and generally acting as if a cat had just been elected governor.
Hitch knelt down in front of his dog and felt her fur, which was a little mangy. He also noticed how swollen Salem’s belly was. The ol' girl's giving birth! He thought. And her unborn offspring's roughly the size and shape of a gigantic egg!

What Will Happen When it Hatches?
If you think this is the end of the tale, then you don’t know Bufkin County. Come along with young Hitch, Constable Buford Bumford and Jethro as they discover that their dog Salem is going to launch something that will turn their lives upside down, and change the world in ways that no one could ever imagine.

What could possibly go wrong in paradise?

Tired of mortgage and car payments, thirty-something Andrew and Gwynn sold nearly everything they owned but their Siamese cat and escaped their humdrum nine-to-five existence for life in paradise—a tiny island accessible only by boat or air in one of the remotest spots on Earth: the Okavango Delta in Botswana.

Woefully inexperienced, they took control of a luxury game lodge where the rich and famous went to sip G&Ts with lions and elephants.

Trouble soon followed.

Their lives were threatened daily by snakes, elephants, baboons, and a hyena with a plastic fetish. Not to mention the endless—and often insurmountable—challenge of keeping their five-star guests fed in a world where the closest supermarket was an air flight away.

Amongst others, their guests included a famous Hollywood director, some French aristocrats, a Mafia lawyer, world-famous singers, and the England cricket captain.

Light-hearted and humorous, this adventure—peppered with some drama and suspense—will enthrall you with its unique look at life as game lodge managers in wild Africa.

“Get ready to get your giggle on!”

Everyone needs a good rib-tickling, belly-laughing session with family and friends. Lets be honest, it brings groups together and helps people form stronger connections. Not to mention it has amazing health benefits. :)

Giggling on a regular basis is proven to naturally help the overall wellbeing of the mind while putting a spark into your day. Having a good old chuckle also releases soothing euphoric endorphins that help decrease stress and anxiety.

Did you know that you're 30 times more likely to laugh if you're with somebody else than if you're alone? So next time you have a gathering with friends, why not share some of these absolute cracker jokes?

This book contains The Ultimate 2016 Collection of short jokes that will make you cry with laughter. You will be gasping for air with funny one-liners that you can share with all of your mates.

We have avoided smutty blonde jokes and predictable momma gags that may offend some people.

You are left with solid jokes that are clever, witty and hilariously funny!

Health Benefits of Laughter...

• Produces a general sense of well-being
• Fun ab workout
• Boosts Immune System
• Reduces stress hormone levels
• Triggers the release of endorphins
• Enhances cardiac health
• Lowers blood pressure
• Help bring people together
• Much, much
  more!

Imagine how good it will feel to use these jokes on your friends and family!

Zach Zimmerman struggles with long-term commitment. After dropping out of the University of Southern California and moving to Peru for seven months, Zach ultimately discovers that, in every respect imaginable, he’s broke. No money. No plans. No purpose. Of course, if he were normal, this is the point when he’d beg his parents for a flight home. Instead, Zach decides this is the appropriate time to venture alone into one of the deadliest and most unpredictable regions of the planet: the Amazon rainforest.

See, according to some guy Zach met in the south of Peru—a guy with a distinct fondness for psychedelics—there exists a spirit of the jungle, and this spirit has a name: Lady Ayahuasca. Local legend holds that Lady Ayahuasca is a divine mother, an omnipotent presence that guides all those who seek her counsel to their true, enlightened paths. Zach, a devoted skeptic, puts little stock into the proposed existence of jungle spirits, yet is nevertheless intrigued by their growing popularity, particularly among New Age travelers, and expects at the very least to find some level of excitement in a land of such great unknown.

What Zach doesn’t expect to find is the tarantulas and alligators and shamans and native Amazonian tribes and pretty Chinese girls and eccentric characters that, chaotic and random and dangerous as they may appear, all seem to be leading him somewhere, until, in the end, Zach discovers (well, let’s not leave any spoilers here).

Though at its outset, In Search of Lady Ayahuasca is a humorous examination of the abstract, seemingly incredulous beliefs we humans are drawn to, at its heart it’s about a young man struggling to find his own way in a world of beaten-down paths. Zach Zimmerman’s guile and self-deprecatory humor make his journal hard to put down, and his insightful stream of consciousness regarding the nature of skepticism and spirituality will have you reflecting inward as you laugh outward.

Plus, it’s only like a hundred pages.

Phil Oglesby hasn’t spoken to his mother in years. And she doesn’t seem to care until he surprises her with a Mother’s Day visit that becomes the biggest mistake he’s ever made.

Williemaye, Phil’s mom, is not a Norman Rockwell mom. For many people the Sunday set aside to celebrate motherhood is often regarded as a celebration of the deepest ties, the warmest memories, and the best emotions.

Phil’s Mother’s Day is like being invited to a birthday party where the guests decide to hang you. Sometimes in life, it is often a much better idea to stay at home.

Action! Characters! Dialogue! Exposition! Normalized has it all!

When Captain Might started writing his journal he was on top of the world. Being a superhero was a blast – freezing bad guys with his super breath and uppercutting them into orbit – what’s not to love? His enemies got to have their fun too with their earthquake machines and their lava cannons and their robot tentacles. It’s a merry old game, the ping pong of good versus evil, or at least it was before the Cap's nemesis, Professor D’eath, tossed out the rule book and started straight up murdering folk.

Suddenly Captain Might is catapulted into in the real world – a world of public inquiries and law suits and media witch hunts - and to make matters worse, D’eath has poached sixteen-hundred pounds of weapons-grade plutonium and looks set to scratch ‘ALL THE HUMANS’ on the side of a gigantic funeral urn. No doubt about it, things are about to get a whole lot uglier before they get worse…

Written by a passionate vegetarian, "Revenge of the Vegetarian" is an amusing, irreverent, and often hilarious book that covers a range of topics about vegetarianism and the meat-eating culture. The author has his tongue firmly planted in cheek, while taking humorous jabs at a variety of easy targets. Get a silly lesson on how to deal with meat eaters in social situations. Read surprisingly funny interviews with famous dead vegetarians such as Gandhi, Socrates, and Ben Franklin. You'll even get a comical look at how the English language would change if an overly zealous vegetarian politician got his way. The book also poses a lot of "what ifs." What if there was a "Vegetarian Olympics"? What if vegetarians ruled the country? And what would a vegetarian horoscope tell you about your future? Also you'll learn some laughable techniques meat eaters can use to more easily quit their carnivorous habit. "Revenge" pokes fun at vegetarians, vegans, liberals and conservatives. But it pokes the most fun at meat eaters. This short entertaining book is ideal for any vegetarian or vegetarian wannabe with a sense of humor. Some adult language. Since not everyone has the same sense of humor, we recommend you read a few pages of the "Look Inside" preview before ordering.

If you like dating humor, this book is for you. When two single people meet for the first time, they often arrange a “coffee date.” Coffee Dates From Hell is a humorous fictional account of several very bad coffee dates. Many of these dates are disasters from the beginning. Others are destined to be train wrecks if the two people ever see each other again. The coffee dates include several famous people such as Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, and J. Edgar Hoover. You’ll also meet a range of colorful characters including a psychic, a cross dresser, and even a cannibal. The coffee dates include many funny twists and surprises. The humor is often silly, irreverent, and politically incorrect.

A hilarious, irreverent and unforgettable romp through the afterlife. You’ll never look at death the same way again! A quick easy read!

Della’s life had never been what one would call exciting. As she approached her forty-third birthday, she had all but given up on the hope of romance, the prospect of starting a family and the possibility of anything out of the ordinary ever happening. If not for her job, her beloved dog, her best friend Penny, her love of Barry Manilow music and cold Chardonnay, she may never have chosen to get out of bed. However, as Della learns, nothing will make you appreciate your own life more than your own death! Her unforgettable experiences in the afterlife are sure to make you laugh out loud as well as to reevaluate what death and life really mean. My Name is Della and I’m Dead is as humorous as it is thought-provoking.

A wild and romping quirky comedy from the author of the bestselling and award-winning novel, The Gordonston Ladies Dog Walking Club.

The year is 1999 and the millennium is fast approaching. Baseball fan and thirty-two-year-old confirmed bachelor and architect, Seth Miller, is content with his life, as long as the Yankees win and his mother stays away from his Greenwich Village apartment. Seth's life though is turned upside down when he is informed by his overbearing and overprotective mother that he is God's youngest son, and by default the second coming of Christ.

Initially convinced that his parents are crazy, his thoughts of their committal to a suitable care facility are superseded when he receives an unsolicited telephone call from God himself. With Armageddon fast approaching, and due to some poor editing and proofreading of the Bible, Seth must assume the role of Christ and fight God's corner in the 'Final Conflict' between good and evil. Despite his initial reluctance and attempts to shirk his new responsibilities, God is insistent, and Seth is cajoled into undertaking the role of Messiah.

With his best friend, and chief follower Bob Nancy, Seth embarks on a calamitous sequence of miracle doing and disciple gathering, all of which fail to inspire the legions of followers expected by God, but leads to a bout of food poisoning for a troop of visiting boy scouts and a suspected attempt on the life of the Mayor.

God, a somewhat nonchalant character, is far more preoccupied with the lack of IT and administrative support he is receiving in heaven, than actual events on Earth; and is already planning to move on to other planets that he and Lucifer are in the process of developing for 'future projects'.

Enter Maggie De Lynne, as Seth's second disciple and love interest, who adds her own perspective to Seth's predicament; which is only compounded when a just as unsuitable anti-Christ, suffering from IBS and with a penchant for dressing up as cartoon characters, visits his apartment.

Throw a 'gangsta' rapping Guardian Angel and Walter, the talking cat - who used to be quiet as a mouse - into the mix, and the scene is set for a hilarious tale of one man's reluctance to save the world and join the family business.

This book is ideal for those who enjoy:

Dark Comedy Books, Comedy Books, Witty, Witty Humor, Funny Authors, Quirky books, Quirky Fiction

This book is for you!

"Just think of it as a bad haircut." Hubert watched the surgeon hold up a sterile bag of circumcision tools. "A week from now you won't feel a thing."

For geeky teenager, Hubert Pubes Rawlings, his new job as a shopping center food court cleaner is one thing, but a picture with the hot cleaning crew exposing him as the only cleaner who's uncut is too much, too fast. When his obscure mother stresses over his nightly dream adventures then catches his father in a single handed affair, she insists Hubert undergo a circumcision. “It’s all about sensitivity, dear. I certainly don’t want you to do like daddy does.”

Meanwhile, because of the picture, Hubert's popularity has soared. His best friend, Will, tries to convince him that it’s a good thing. That may be fine for Will to say, but for Hubert, it's simply not the case.

With the circumcision complete, Hubert struggles with his popularity among the food court hotties. Will's constant encouragement and the cleaning crew's threatening jealousy adds to his problems—not to mention having to keep his secret of being Circumcised at Seventeen.

Diamondacious! sparkles like a bodacious diamond. It’s the funny, sexy, gossipy, tongue-in-cheek saga of Debbie DeVore, who begins her journey as a plain brunette from the wrong side of town, and rises to wealth as an icy, blonde accounting wiz. Was it so bad she cut a few corners to get there?

This frothy beach read begins in Fort Lauderdale but sweeps to New York, Las Vegas, and the capitals of South America. It will make you laugh, make you cry, and make you jealous. You’ll recognize some of the characters from the boldface names of newspapers if you read gossip, the financial pages, and even the political news. But you have never heard these stories with the spin D. A. Belmont gives them in this tautly rendered and remarkably nuanced page-turner. It’s an atmospheric and propulsive chronicle of a time, a place, and a way of life.

Debbie’s friends are fascinating. Beautiful Arden Sloane lives a life of glamor and success but hides the saddest childhood a poor little rich girl could possibly know. Handsome, brilliant, ambitious Peter Pelligrino is both highly educated and accomplished; but his heritage holds him back from happiness with Arden. Karal, fabulous high-end hairdresser to the rich and infamous of Fort Lauderdale is the true friend who helps Debbie become a swan.

Diamondacious! is a crazy, sexy, laugh-out-loud satire. It’s in turn shocking, poignant, and uproarious—written with an eye for detail, an ear for dialogue, and a knack for comic timing. It’s full of the straight story and the other one too. At the same time, it’s never graphic, and the good guys always come out on top—financially at least. Debbie is a woman who loves life and who reaches out to help herself (and her true friends) to all the world has to offer.

Need Help? Hire a Ghost. She Cooks.Lottie Roberts is restless and lonely. She’s been sitting on her bones for decades, waiting for her ticket to heaven until… Justine Hale and her family take up residence in Lottie’s two-hundred-year-old plantation house. Lottie senses in Justine a kindred spirit—filled with heartache and in reduced circumstances—which Lottie considers mirrors her own situation exactly. Yet Justine is trying to do the right thing. Else why is she burdened with a bankrupt mother without an ounce of common sense? Or an ex mother-in-law who looks like a pickled beet with a tongue sharper than a hatchet? And where is the father of the recalcitrant eleven year-old boy and the eight-year-old afraid of her own shadow?

Justine needs help and Lottie is of a mind to provide it. But before Lottie can say squat and Justine even unlocks the front door, Tucker Highsmith shows up to steal her thunder. His dark eyes, lazy grin, and sexy Alabama drawl coupled with the dern braggart’s Mr. Fix-it talents just might be the answer to all of Justine’s problems. Or maybe not, because Lottie has her own agenda since she found her bones on a hidden staircase.